The Morning Dilemma
by Dorminchu
Summary: Shinji and Asuka have to go to school. Misato is asleep. Something has to give. (A light-hearted character study.)


_a/n: I recently finished NGE & The End of Evangelion. Given how there was a demand for an original concept in my first fic, **Decay** , I couldn't resist the idea._

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Shinji woke up first to the sound of the door opening. Two voices conversed, muted through the thin walls. He could not decipher the words, only the tenor of the speakers. A man and a woman. Misato and Kaji, perhaps. He frowned in the darkness, ears peeled for further information. Muffled laughter. A second later the door closed and there was a dull flump, footsteps puttering around the kitchen area.

 _That's Misato,_ he thought groggily _._ His earbuds were quickly becoming a painful distraction with the way he was lying down, one digging into the soft, thin flesh of his left ear, so he took them out. Eventually the sounds from the kitchen ceased. Shinji blinked, disentangling himself from the electronic cords in order to sit up. The little clock on his Walkman read 5:32. He had half an hour before he was supposed to be up, but Shinji knew he would not be able to sleep. He'd gotten seven hours of rest, then. It had been an early night yesterday, but at least he'd gotten his homework done. _Besides,_ Shinji thought, _that's what coffee is for._

He sighed. _Time to get moving._

Asuka wasn't up yet as he shuffled to the bathroom and groped for the light. Still groggy as he did his business, Shinji checked his face in the mirror once he was finished washing his hands, picking at his eyelids. Pressed his face into his cupped palms, filled with water, flinching at the coldness of it. Maybe he could take a shower; that usually woke him up. Before he could give this idea more consideration, there was an aggressive rapping at the door.

"I'm in here," he said, faintly irritated. He had an inkling of who was waiting on the other side of the bathroom door, and he was not at all in the mood to deal with it this early in the morning. It wasn't like he had much of a choice, though. He walked over and opened the door, steeling himself.

"Oi, Ikari," said Asuka shortly, as way of a morning greeting.

"You're up already? I didn't want to bother you," Shinji said dryly.

Asuka grunted. " _You_ didn't wake me up." She glanced in the direction of the kitchen area, then huffed. "Whatever. Are you finished in here or what?"

Shinji shrugged. "I guess."

"Then let me in already, I have to pee."

Shinji left her to it. On the way back to his room he noticed Misato sprawled out on the floor in front of the table, out cold. She'd left the lights on. He stood there a moment, staring bleary-eyed at the adult of the house, unsure what it was that compelled him to stay put. He was brought back to reality when Asuka bumped his shoulder none-too lightly with hers.

"So what are we gonna do about her?" she asked curtly.

"Misato? She's okay. Just leave her alone."

Asuka made a subtle sound of disgust before she stepped carefully over Misato's crumpled body. Shinji retreated to his room to get dressed for the day. Ten minutes later he came back out. Misato was still motionless, snoring quietly. Asuka was rooting through the pantry with a careful eye and deft hands, taking down boxes here and there. Misato's empty beer cans were pushed haphazardly to the side.

Shinji joined her, careful not to get too close, avoiding eye contact. He found a glass on the counter-top, unsure if it was clean or not, too tired to care, and filled it with tap water. Turning on the coffee maker, he poured the contents of the glass into the reservoir and a packet of grounds into the second aperture, pressing the red switch at the base. _That usually takes a few minutes. I should make some breakfast._

"So what's the deal with the penguin?" Asuka asked, breaking the stilted silence with little preamble. "I didn't want to ask _her_." She shot a funny look at Misato as she said this.

"Pen-Pen?" Shinji muttered, taken aback by Asuka's uncharacteristic lack of vitriol.

"Yeah," said Asuka tersely. "It smells like shit."

"Well, it's a penguin," said Shinji measuredly, watching his coffee bubble up in the glass container and trying not to think about how tired he was. "Penguins don't use the toilet."

"Okay, smartass. I get that," Asuka said, eyes a bit sharper and nostrils flaring, familiarly aggressive. "But how come the stupid penguin gets a locked room and we don't? That's what I want to know."

"Dunno." Shinji looked away, making very little effort to hide his disinterest. "Hey, do you like cereal or oatmeal?"

Asuka stared blankly at him. "Uh. What?"

"Because I think we're out of both. I hope you don't mind toast."

Asuka rolled her eyes. "God, do you know if she keeps anything in the refrigerator besides beer?"

"No," said Shinji. "You could check, I guess."

Asuka muttered something under her breath that sounded a lot like _prick,_ but the coffee-maker beeped and Shinji didn't hear it clearly. He made his cup in silence while Asuka opened the cooler.

"Damn it, Ikari," she said. "There's stuff in here, you just have to move her cans." She came out with a packaged microwaveable meal. "See?"

"I wouldn't do that," Shinji said.

"Why? It's right here."

"It might be for our dinner."

Asuka rolled her eyes. "Then I'll drag your ass to the store with me and we'll get some more groceries, it's not that complicated."

"Fine," Shinji relented, feeling bitter and in no mood to argue, "just hurry it up, will you? We have twenty minutes."

Asuka _hmph_ ed, but didn't protest. She put the package in the microwave and punched in the time with a few jarring beeps that made them both recoil. While it was cooking, she retreated to her room. Shinji regarded the boxes she'd left on the counter. Three were empty, but in the fourth there was a little cereal left. He'd take it if Asuka wouldn't.

The microwave beeped loudly, disrupting his thoughts. Misato grunted. Heart hammering wildly, Shinji slammed his hand on the _CANCEL_ button so fast that he was momentarily scared he had broken his fingers. He bit back a curse, staring at Misato in a panic. She rolled over and huffed, but did not address him or the disturbance. Soon enough she was snoring again. Shinji released the breath he'd been holding.

It was at this point that Asuka came back, dressed and eyeing him suspiciously.

"I leave for two minutes and you get into trouble," she sighed, joining him again. "God, Ikari, you're really skittish."

Shinji ignored her comment. "Your food is ready, I think."

Asuka took her cue from him and did not acknowledge this. She opened the microwave and cursed.

"What?" said Shinji.

"The dumb plastic's still on. Can I even eat this?" She tried peeling away the melted plastic to little effect. " _Scheisse_. Where does Katsuragi keep her forks, Ikari?"

"Take this one," said Shinji, handing her a fork from the counter that was probably dirty anyway. Asuka took it from him and turned the meal over, smirking at her own ingenuity. "See, _this_ side is good."

She fell upon the good part of her meal with a vicious efficiency. Shinji ate his dry cereal with significantly less enthusiasm.

"Ten minutes," he told her.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Hey, doesn't she take you to class or something?" Asuka indicated Misato with her fork.

"Sometimes, yes."

Asuka raised her eyebrows. "You should probably wake her up."

"You wake her up," Shinji said. "I'll take the bus."

"What? You said she's the one that gives you a ride, Ikari. You do it."

"You're the one who brought it up," Shinji retorted, never once raising his voice, eyes on his partially empty bowl.

"Jeez, you're such a pissant," Asuka sighed. "Are you scared of everyone _except_ Ayanami?"

"No. I just don't feel like dealing with vomit in the toilet first thing in the morning," Shinji said. "Or vomit anywhere. I was having a very pleasant breakfast without your help."

"Asshole," Asuka snapped. "You're just saying that because she's asleep."

Shinji hummed in agreement while he took a long swig of coffee. Asuka bit her tongue, but said nothing.

"So do you take the subway by yourself?" he asked, bringing his bowl and cup to the counter.

Asuka wrinkled her nose and responded imperiously: "I can get around by myself, thank you very much." She dropped her container in the trash-bin and stood.

"Fine," said Shinji wearily. "We'll go together."

"What?" Asuka snapped, as though he had just insulted her. "If you think I'm just going to let you mooch off MY subway pass, you can—"

Misato snuffled in her sleep. Asuka and Shinji froze, both bug-eyed and petrified. They looked at each other, thinking the same thing: _I really don't want to be here when Ms. Katsuragi wakes up._

"Okay," Asuka relented under her breath. "Okay, Ikari, you win. JUST this once," she added haughtily. "And if you try and tell any of your stupid friends that I'm going easy on you, you'll regret it, understand?"

Shinji grinned weakly. "It's a deal."


End file.
